Marriage Prep Class

WARNING: This is a long post about a horrible experience…

Because we are getting married in the Catholic Church, they require us to take a marriage prep class; specifically one through the church in our diocese. We ended up at St. Joan of Arc in Boca Raton. I was not happy about this class because not only was it on one of my two days off, but it was from 8:30am to 4:30pm!! My ENTIRE day! To top it off, it also cost us $90! Big UGH! And seriously, what could they possibly tell me that I don’t already know about how to make a marriage work. Ben and I have been together for over 5.5 years. We’ve lived together almost 2 years. We know each other’s odd quirks, annoying habits, when to keep our mouth shut, when to talk about an issue, and how we see our future. I mean I get it that some or most couples may learn something at this class, but my days off are very precious to me and when you intrude on that, it makes me very unhappy.

So we arrive and they have breakfast for us… or else I would have been a monster. They start off going over our agenda and breaks and lunch, etc. Then a couple gets up to talk. They talk for over an hour about their marriage, and how they did long distance and it’s hard to stay faithful and they had their issues. Giving me the impression someone cheated on the other. Excuse me, how does that relate to our upcoming vows?!? And let me point out that this wife doesn’t work at a job, she stays home with the kids. Then we get another couple who have four kids and again the wife is a stay-at-home mom.

Now, here’s the worst part. The lesson on having children. Ben and I are not having kids. Neither of us want this. But during this section, I was irate! They were saying how it’s the duty of the woman to bear children. How life is not complete until you have kids. You are not considered a family until you have your first child. And if you are not ready, you abstain from sex, that contraceptives are not allowed… But when you are you should practice family planning, and count the days you are ovulating and keep a calendar and pretty much take the fun out of sex and trying to have kids by going crazy over a schedule. WHAT THE F**K??? So since we don’t want kids, we should never have sex?? We are both Catholic and I do not like when each word from the Bible is taken literally. Times have changed. God will consider Ben and I a family with or without children. We will be happy, we will be complete without children. I could not believe the shit they were saying. I wanted to jump out of my seat, slam my book on the table and yell “I OBJECT!” Luckily there was a break after this session so I could go cool off…

Then they go onto a lesson about communication. We already have that figured out… We broke for an hour for lunch, which seemed excessive. When we came back, we went into finances. Again, we have discussed and we already do most of our finances together. Lastly there were a few interactive activities. I was just glad we didn’t have to work with other couples – marriage it’s a two person thing, not multiple couples kind of thing. Finally it ended and they had a survey for us to complete. I let them have it. I let them know that for starters the class could have been 3 hours by removing the breaks and lunch and the speakers telling us their life stories. I also told them it would have been more beneficial to get couples that are more relatable. Like a working woman for starters!!! I don’t know any mothers that have the luxury of staying home with the kids. This is a society where usually both man and woman work to pay the bills together. Then I wrote how the “family planning” lesson was insulting to women that may not be able to have children and also those that just plain choose to not have them. And God doesn’t love us any different and we are a family.

Luckily the surveys were anonymous or they may have told us we couldn’t get married in a Catholic Church LOL. I just hope they read it and maybe took something away from it. I seriously could not have been the only person offended and irritated by the day. So if you ever have to attend a Marriage Prep Class, I would love to know how your experience was. The only benefit that came from it, is that we get a discount on our Marriage License with the certificate.

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